THE FAT LADY SINGS
A Duluth private investigator, needing to pay off his bookie, agrees to payment on completion of a prominent politician’s wife’s case; now he has only three days to find an Ohio plumber that the client only met on the internet over a dozen years ago.
Byroan is hired by a high-profile politician's wife. The political party is grooming her husband for the Governorship and eventually suiting him up for President.
The wife wants to find an Ohio plumber she only met on the internet years ago. The plumber was a sympathetic ear, and she hopes he will be again, since her husband is too busy with his political career to have much time for her.
Neither Byroan or the client knows they are now in way over their heads. The party shadows them, even watches the wife before she hires Byroan. The party's determined to use any means to protect their candidate from possible future scandal.
Byroan can't afford a secretary. Ace librarian Mabel does his research. She's in love with the romantic ideal of a P.I. He's the only eligible bachelor P.I. in town. She's working up to him, but so far can only take about 40 seconds of Byroan in person.
He has 3 days to pay up his gambling debt. The P.I. trails the elusive plumber through the wilds of Ohio, sees his bookie's henchmen shadowing him at every turn.
Ricky, Byroan's competition's eighteen year old nephew, decides he will have Byroan teach him the business. It doesn't seem to matter how much Byroan discourages Ricky. Ricky even follows Byroan to Ohio for on the job training.
Byroan learns the plumber was a college computer major, tuition paid by boxing. Too many hits to the head, he fell to correspondence school plumbing, odd jobs, then skid row.
The plumber, hanging out at a boxing match, is shot just as Byroan finds him, hears his final words. A political party dirty trickster did the shooting. The trickster's killed by an intentional hit and run driver.
Byroan hasn't proof about the political party, settles for chewing out his client at the ballpark, and taking his fee.
As he leaves the park, Byroan's beaned by a homerun ball. The bookie's muscle grabs the money and the ball. People throw change in Byroan's fedora as a street musician sings over Byroan like a New Orleans wake. Fade to black
MURDER, MY SWEET
THE HARDER THEY FALL
Page One (First Place) [2001]
Wiki Contest (Semifinalist) [2020]
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