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Script Name
1

Valentine

Sarcastic priest returns to his crime-ridden hometown to do battle with anyone to keep his parish from closing. Script Excerpt

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2

Al Calender

Based off my experience working at a hospital as a Lifeline manager. Retired man, who is frustrated that his wife won't retire, takes a job as the Help Alert manager and ends up saving his boss's snake by feeding it six-dozen donuts laced with laxatives. This show takes place in the early 1990s which corresponds to my time at the hospital. Script Excerpt

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3

Halfway There

A worldly woman wants out of her job from a group home for the mentally ill, but stays to become their advocate, only to find resistance from the residents and the group home's owner. Script Excerpt

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4

Happy New Year

Felicia hosts a New Year's Eve party only to have everyone leave to go to patient, Edna Stowell's, house which gets robbed. Script Excerpt

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5

Limo Ride for Felicia

Felicia's dreams of a limo picking her up at the airport run afoul when the driver cancels and sends Frankie to get her. Script Excerpt

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6

Where Did Brent Come From?

This episode reveals where the intern, Brent, came from. Script Excerpt

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7

Class Reunion

Sandy pushes Al to go to his class reunion to face the demons of the four guys who tormented him in high school. Script Excerpt

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8

Burnt Toast

Felicia gets a second job at a restaurant but intimidates the customers into not wasting their food. Script Excerpt

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9

SCHWARTZ

Al is jealous of Olaf who seems to know everyone. Script Excerpt

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10

Confession

Father Steve tells Al and his co-workers that no one goes to confession, so they decide to go, only to fight for their space in line. Script Excerpt

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11

For All the Saints

Al dressed up as Moses, goes to a patient's house to fix her machine, only to have her attack him. Script Excerpt

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12

How Much is that Doggy in the Window

Al and his Help Alert friends have a funeral for a patient's dog. Script Excerpt

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13

Hark the Harold

Felicia convinces everyone to play a trick on Harold, an obnoxious radio personality whom she dated, during Brent's Christmas Carol party. Script Excerpt

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14

Election Woes

Al helps the drunk Felicia make election phone calls only to be cast as a traitor. Script Excerpt

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15

County Fair

Al is stuck in the poultry barn as he promotes Help Alert, while Felicia frantically tries to get a ribbon to show off to Frankie's relatives but ends up poisoning the pie judge. Script Excerpt

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16

Martha Comes to Town

Felicia tries to get out of a contest win which involves Martha Stewart staying with her, while Art, the volunteer, falls for the famous home diva, and gives her flowers he found on a grave. Script Excerpt

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17

Mel's Dental

Al's terrible experience at Mel's Dental motivates him to get Mel out of business only to discover he's messing with the son of a notorious mafia leader. Script Excerpt

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18

Toolabra

Al hosts a tool party in his garage in protest of his wife's parties, and the men end up at a Help Alert client's house to get rid of a woodchuck. Script Excerpt

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19

Growing Old with Carolo

Carolo, an aging hair stylist and flirt, kidnaps volunteer Olaf when he and Art install her Help Alert. Script Excerpt

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20

Felicia Sings

Opera singer, Jessye Norman, will judge the hospital choir tryouts, but Felicia makes it her mission to meet the celebrity on her own terms. Script Excerpt

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21

Foot Doctor

When Sandy shares her husband's podiatry secrets, the entire hospital seeks out his help for their foot ailments. Script Excerpt

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22

Bring Your Pet to Work Day

Al's co-workers stage a Bring Your Pet to Work Day, a campaign he's against, but forced to participate in with his granddaughter's rabbit. Script Excerpt

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23

Fish Stick Casserole

Unsympathetic to the rejection his wife feels when no one eats her food at potlucks, Al must bring his own dish to pass at the work picnic giving someone food poisoning. Script Excerpt

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24

Beer, Brats, and Babes

Help Alert volunteer creates a flyer he thinks will attract more men to a church retreat, but instead incites rage from a local women's group as well as a pending lawsuit against the parish. Script Excerpt

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25

Good-Bye Grandma Mabel

Felicia wants the perfect outfit for her grandmother's funeral but ends up with a dud. Script Excerpt

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26

Compulsory

Inspired by true events: In 1922 Oregon, a lawyer, thinking he’s protecting his family, reluctantly, but covertly joins the KKK and their push for the Oregon Compulsory Education Act, only to throw his family into mortal danger. Script Excerpt

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