Larry David has a hard time being smart without being an ass. A traffic violation leads Larry David to traffic court and community service as a traffic cross walk guard. Meanwhile, the hybrid car maybe a silent killer, and Jeff Green is losing weight while getting Rolf-ed. Winner of 8 'Best Screenplay' awards.

Larry David appears in traffic court in front of Judge Whit Schilling for hitting Oscar Wise, an Orthodox Jewish pedestrian in a cross walk. Larry’s defense is that the silent hybrid car is to blame, but the judge sentences Larry to community service – as a crosswalk guard.

On Larry’s first day as crosswalk guard, he confronts a woman in a black Mercedes, the wife of the judge.

Later, Larry files a complaint to the manufacturer of the hybrid, but is told the silent car is ‘normal operation,’ and the accident is ‘an act of God.’

Then Larry meets his agent and friend, Jeff Green, at a deli. While gorging himself, Jeff reveals that he and Marty Funkhouser have been losing weight by getting Rolf-ed by an attractive Korean masseuse, Minhee Kim.

Back at the crosswalk, Larry confronts Oscar Wise and unintentionally insults a small Korean boy . Meanwhile the judge’s wife in the black Mercedes speeds through the intersection.

On the phone, Jeff shares with Larry the rough massage experience with Minhee Kim, and Larry decides he wants an appointment.

In the mean time, Larry takes the silent hybrid into an auto audio and alarm dealership to install a pedestrian warning sound – he decides on the screeching sound of birds from the movie ‘Psycho.’

At the crosswalk duty, Larry rescues the Korean boy and is thanked by his mother – Minhee Kim. The world is looking good for Larry, but Jeff has more bad news – his last Rolfing session ended with an accident and he has been banned from further Rolf-ing. Larry decides to keep his appointment, anyway.

Larry’s massage begins with rough elbows, but Minhee Kim showers him with fists when she realizes Larry is friends with Jeff Green. In his hasty escape in the hybrid, Larry narrowly misses hitting Oscar Wise again, but swerves directly into the black Mercedes of the judge’s wife.

Back in traffic court, Larry faces Judge Whit Schilling. The judge recognizes him: ‘Mr. David. You’re the hairdresser, right?’ In his defiant moment before the gavel falls, Larry responds: ‘That’s right, and you’re Shit Willing!’

Written by:
TV Episode
Starring Roles For:
Larry David

Author Bio:
Winner of 71 'Best' screenplay awards with 8 different scripts since 2010.

Writer/producer of THIS MODERN MAN IS BEAT with actor Jordi Vilasuso, and director Alex Merkin. Premiered in 20 countries, screened in 123 film festivals, and won 98 Best Film/12 Best Screenplay awards.

Contest Results:
Screenplay Festival (Finalist, winner pending) [2017]
Austin Comedy Short (Finalist, Top 5) [2019]
Atlanta Comedy (Third Place) [2017]
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