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A hyper-competitive suburban dad who invents a “last-place punishment” pickleball league is sidelined by an injury. Thanks to his own ruthless rules, he becomes the season loser and is forced to run for school board president, dragging his friends, marriage, and community into an all-too-real campaign.

Simon Ross is a hypercompetitive suburban dad who dominates his friends’ annual pickleball league, where finishing last comes with an increasingly absurd punishment. Past losers have endured kickboxing tournaments, SoulCycle certification, humiliating tattoos, and even competitive cat shows. For the upcoming season, Simon proposes their most brutal punishment yet: the loser must run for school board president.

But Simon’s confidence collapses when he ruptures his Achilles during the season’s second match. Unfortunately, an old rule—created by Simon himself—means two games are enough to qualify, making him the league’s official loser. His friends gleefully launch a legitimate campaign on his behalf, complete with yard signs, a website, and a massive billboard.

Simon wants nothing to do with the race, especially when he discovers his opponent is Gretchen “The Growler” Gaston, the ruthless incumbent who has terrorized teachers, including Simon’s wife, Emily. But the joke becomes serious when Simon learns Gretchen plans to consolidate schools, lay off teachers, and specifically target Emily’s struggling elementary school. Suddenly, the ridiculous punishment becomes personal. Competitive instincts awakened, Simon summons his friends to campaign headquarters. He may have entered the race unwillingly—but now he intends to win.

Script Excerpt
Written by:
Format:
TV Pilot
Genres:
Budget:
Low
Posted:
08/14/2026
Updated:
08/14/2026
Author Bio:
I'm a Chicago-area private investigator who loves to write screenplays.

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