ESCALATOR!

In the city of the first mall, and the biggest mall, Armstrong King has built the best mall - ‘The Castle’. Complete with slit upper windows, drawbridge entrances, even a moat (glass-covered for the alligators’ comfort in the cooler climate).

An eight year old know-it-all is interviewed as the millionth customer. He takes the Mall’s wireless mike on the escalator, reads the model plate as he hops on.

The know-it-all informs everyone in the mall that these Dumphoff model twenty eights are dual purpose escalators. If stopped, and any change of weight is detected, the escalators become warehouse slides. Just then jewel thieves stop the escalators as part of their heist.

The know-it-all reminds everyone that if anyone gets off, all the passengers will slide off the escalators, crash through the lobby window, and into the moat, becoming alligator snacks. Being Midwesterners, they remain, waiting to be rescued. A poisoned fire chief must juggle battling a fire in the mall, romancing the architect, and handling the press as he pulls his ace rescuer out of retirement and attempts to save them all from - disaster!!

Each set of people on the escalator have their own backstory -- and movie to parody.

Everything is a target, from THE GREAT ESCAPE to CRANK, from THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE to KILL BILL.