Accelerated Dragons

"This was a really interesting script. In many ways, it's a genre-bending script. It definitely reads as a thriller, but the use of chess as the centerpiece gives it a different flair. This script feels like THE QUEEN'S GAMBIT meets JASON BOURNE meets SNEAKERS. (I'm not sure if you're familiar with Sneakers, it's an oldie but a goodie, starring Robert Redford.

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"This was a really interesting script. In many ways, it's a genre-bending script. It definitely reads as a thriller, but the use of chess as the centerpiece gives it a different flair. This script feels like THE QUEEN'S GAMBIT meets JASON BOURNE meets SNEAKERS. (I'm not sure if you're familiar with Sneakers, it's an oldie but a goodie, starring Robert Redford.) With the recent success of The Queen's Gambit and the increased interest in chess as a result of it, this script could well find a home within the industry.

You do a very good job of creating imagery and writing action scenes. The action scenes were written very clearly, were crisp and consistent in their approach, and were thrilling at many different points. The sequencing of the action was well thought-out, and the scenes took the reader from moment to moment without it feeling unfocused. You clearly have talent when it comes to keeping the reader at the edge of their seat.

The beginning of the script served as a strong set-up. We get a taste of all of the elements that will be prevalent through the rest of the script - particularly the action and the violence. The early introduction of chess as well helps to set up the story - seeing the kids play chess, and then having Ivankov make references to chess serve as important early touchstones.

I liked that Whitmore used elements of Mickey's strategy and embedded it in the device, particularly since everyone thought Mickey was dead - which meant the code was impenetrable. That was a good twist and what brought together the script - the reader now understands why Dawson would recruit Mickey to come to Russia under false pretenses, and it turns Mickey into the potential hero of the story.

Your use of VO was also nicely done. The scenes where Mickey is breaking into the lab to break the code and steal the box used VO very well. The VO by Whitmore and Dawson helped to move along the script while giving the audience important information and context.

Dawson's character was a really interesting one. At first he seems as though he is an assistant to a James Bond-like character, and then you realize that he is much more than that. It was an interesting evolution to watch unfold throughout the script.

The script has a lot of potential... Good luck in your writing - you have something here!"

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"First of all I just want to congratulate you on a good idea. Chess hasn't been exploited in the movies in a long time. The chess game at the end reminded me of the Seventh seal by Ingmar Berman. Good idea, lots of action and twists... "

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"Good opening. (Again) Kicks right in and opens up the story from the getgo... A very interesting thriller. And a very unique one... Highly enjoyable."

*****

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BREFNI O'ROURKE is a New York based screenwriter actively marketing all of his materials for possible sale or option. He is the author of more than 50 original feature-length spec screenplays, primarily within the action, suspense-thriller, and horror genres. The "cinematic Brefniverse" includes: 

"The Awning", a supernatural thriller, was a quarterfinalist in the 2023 WeScreenplay Feature contests. It was named a finalist in the 2022 Story Pros International Screenplay Contest and has been awarded a Coverfly badge of - Top 6% of discoverable projects. In March of 2023 it made the Red List as the # 8 ranked thriller screenplay.  

"Wake", a psychological thriller, was recognized as a semifinalist in the 2022 Creative World Awards. It was recognized as a quarterfinalist in the Final Draft/Big Break Contest (top 10% of entries) and the American Zoetrope contest. It has been awarded a Coverfly badge of being among the top 22% of discoverable projects.  

"Descendancy", an action-thriller, was recognized as a Quarterfinalist in the Script Lab - TSL Free Screenplay Contest 2022 and has been awarded a Coverfly badge of - Top 18% of discoverable projects.  

"Moving Day", a supernatural thriller, was recognized as a quarterfinalist in the 2015 Final Draft/Big Break Contest.  It has been awarded a Coverfly badge of being among the top 34% of discoverable projects. 

"Panopticon", an action-thriller, was selected as a "Notable Project" by Amazon Studios (one of only 50 projects recognized as such).   

"God's Work", a supernatural action thriller was optioned by The Ferla Consulting Group.  

"Threshold", a horror-thriller (cowritten with Elizabeth Rowin and Greg DeRochie) was optioned by Contribution Films. (http://www.contributionfilms.com/threshold.html). 

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